Nines are easy-going, down-to-earth and unselfish. Nines want peace in their environment. That’s why they’re often called peacemakers and mediators: They try to build a world without conflict around themselves. For Nines, it’s easy to see and value the perspective of others. It makes them amazing listeners.
Nines try to get along with everyone by taking themselves back and letting others go first. On the other hand, Nines can be quite stubborn when they are pressured to leave their comfort zone.
Nines are kind and easygoing people. In relationships they are undemanding and like their lives and homes to be comfortable. They like to stay in the background, do their own thing and make sure everyone gets along with each other.
Almost everyone likes Nines because they are inclusive and considerate and give people a safe place to be themselves. But they also tend to hold back their own opinions and desires, say yes to others before thinking about their own wishes and avoid conflict, even when it’s good for them.
Nines are looking for peace – especially of their own inner self. They want to be sure that there is perfect harmony between themselves and their surroundings.
Nines are part of the “body group“ of the Enneagram, together with Eights and Ones. All three types have a special relationship to anger and control. Eights express their anger freely and use it to control others. Ones try to repress their anger and control themselves. Nines try to avoid their anger in order to keep control over their peace of mind.
As children, Nines learn in one way or another to devalue their own emotions and importance in favor of others. They are usually the kids that keep a group of friends together while rarely taking the spotlight. Because they prioritize harmony over asserting themselves, they are often taken advantage of by more forceful types. Because they make other kids feel safe in their presence, they are usually quite popular, but they tend to get overlooked by adults because they avoid drawing attention to themselves.
Nines (unconsciously) believe that their opinions and needs don’t matter as much as those of others. So they try to stay under the radar and keep their connections to those they love safe by avoiding any conflict. They also try to avoid any inner disturbance by evading anything that puts too much pressure on their peace of mind.
While they seem to agree with everyone on the outside, Nines don’t like being controlled any more than Eights, but instead of openly rebelling, they stubbornly resist by being passive-aggressive.
Healthy Nines who find their own voice and self-worth are incredible leaders. Not because they are naturally inclined to grab power, but because they aren’t. They lead from a standpoint of understanding and acceptance, not domination. They are incredible mediators and counselors with a wealth of wisdom.
The key message for Nines is to reclaim that they matter. Their voice, their needs, their desires and opinions are wanted and needed. The world wants them to step up for themselves and claim their identity.
Your personality isn’t a fixed thing. People grow. While we don’t change our basic personality, we all can become more mature and healthy inside our personality. But at times, we also revert to less healthy behavior. This looks different for every personality type. Let’s see how it unfolds for Nines.
Average Nines are easy going people who are more inclined to step back in favor of others. They prefer to be relaxed and comfortable instead of stepping into environments that challenge them and expose them to conflict, even when it’s constructive. Their focus is on keeping their peace of mind and staying in good relations with everyone around them. Average Nines are often kind sweethearts that understand everyone else but have no clear idea about their own identity. That’s why many Nines feel they are every other personality type of the Enneagram except their own.
Their wish for inner peace drives unhealthy Nines to avoid not just conflict, but everything: life, the world, even themselves. They lose an understanding of how angry they truly are. Because they don’t recognize their anger, they don’t address it, but instead withdraw and stubbornly resist any help. Unhealthy Nines procrastinate obsessively, remain passive at all costs and try to remain in an artificial world of harmony, even when that’s impossible.
While all Nines are good at valuing the viewpoints of others, healthy Nines have found their own unique voice. With a reclaimed sense of purpose, healthy Nines also discover their energy. They become productive and creative, and even though Nines generally don’t crave the spotlight, healthy Nines learn to enjoy it. They are amazing mediators and wise leaders. Like Abraham Lincoln and Queen Elizabeth II., they are able to heal conflicts, bring people together and restore peace. If there is an energy that can restore some kind of balance on this troubled planet, it is certainly the calm, reconciling spirit of healthy Nines.
Type Eight gifts the Nine many aspects of the more forceful nature of this type. Nines with an Eight wing are more energetic, confident and practical. They also have better access to their anger and are more willing to enter into conflicts.
The effect Type One has on Type Nine is in making them more disciplined, orderly and confident. A pronounced One wing tremendously helps Nines find their own voice, because they have a more idealistic sense of right and wrong and are more inclined to share their opinions with the world.
It’s not unusual that people are not sure which Enneagram personality type they really are. If that’s you, don’t worry, it’s totally normal. The Enneagram doesn’t just look at your behavior, but at the motivation behind your behavior. This means that some Types can look similar on the outside.
What happens most often for Type Nines is that they get confused with Types Four, Five, and Six. Sometimes, they also mistype themselves for Type Twos.
Since every type has two wings, you might also be unsure whether Type Eight or Type One, your wings, might actually be your main type.
You can learn how to safely tell Type Nine from all the other Enneagram types here.
Finding out about your Enneagram type shouldn’t be the end of your journey of discovering your personality. The Enneagram is an amazing tool to help you on your journey to become more self-aware and self-accepting.
These five ideas are only a first step to get you started. Get your premium profile to find out much more about how you can use the Enneagram to become your healthiest self!
Humility is not the same as making yourself small. Even if it sounds cliché when you put it in a few words like this: You matter! The world wants you to make yourself heard. Practice taking a moment to think about and express your own opinions before you automatically agree with those around you.
While disappointing others never feels good, Type Nines too often neglect their own wishes in order to keep everyone happy. But you owe it to yourself to value your own time and energy as much as anyone else’s. If “No“ feels too terrifying, start with “Let me think about it and get back to you tomorrow“.
What looks like a relationship-threatening confrontation to you is often just a run-of-the-mill disagreement to the other person. Take a moment before you zone out, to remind yourself that the stakes are almost always lower than you think. And more importantly: they are worth standing up for yourself.
True peace is not the same as avoiding unpleasantness. The next time you face something that requires you to step out of your comfort zone or endure a little bit of discomfort, know that you have the strength to make it to the other side and focus on how you will feel afterwards instead of how you feel now.
The next time you are faced with a decision you feel you are unable to make, don’t turn to other people to tell you what you should do, but go take some time for yourself to find out what it is that you actually want to do – and then do it!