Enneagram Type 2
Highly Empathetic – Self-Sacrificing – Warmhearted
What is an Enneagram Type 2 Personality?
“Twos” can shine with generosity and intuiting people’s needs, but also struggle with defending their own boundaries and people-pleasing.
Discover The Great Things About Enneagram Type 2
Twos belong to the most generous, supportive and caring people on this planet. You could probably heat a middle-sized city with the love and warmheartedness they radiate. They have an amazing intuition when it comes to the feelings and needs of others, sometimes to the degree that they neglect their own. They possess the drive to make the people around them feel loved, safe and comfortable. It’s why they are usually called „Helpers“. They are friendly and lively men and women who are amazingly gifted to form connections with almost anyone they meet.
Twos want to feel close to others. They want to be sure they are needed, loved and appreciated. Their fear of being dispensable, unwanted or, worst of all, unworthy of love, drives them to give themselves to others.
The Worst, The Best, and The Average of Enneagram Type 2
Your personality isn’t a fixed thing. People grow. While we don’t change our basic personality (as much as some of us would like that), we all can become more mature and healthy inside our personality. But at times, we also revert to less healthy behavior. This looks different for every personality type. Let’s see how it unfolds for Twos.
Average Type 2s
All Twos thrive on the gratitude they get for the little signs of love they leave in other people’s lives. Underneath the surface though, the average Two isn’t aware that many of their actions come with unspoken strings attached. They unknowingly assume that other people will intuit their needs as well as they intuit theirs, so they forget (or simply don’t allow themselves) to take care of their own needs. Many Twos are repeatedly frustrated when they realize that after they took care of everyone else (even if no one asked them to), nobody took care of them.
The key challenge of Twos is pride. Their unconscious behavior of giving themselves to others in order to feel loved and appreciated can turn into a „I did so much for you, don’t I deserve some love in return?“ Twos can begin to manipulate people into feeling like they depend on them just to feel needed and appreciated.
Unhealthy Type 2s
When their pattern of self-sacrifice and pride is left unchecked, unhealthy Twos can leave their friendly behavior behind and become suddenly aggressive and confrontational. Finally, they start demanding what is theirs. Sometimes they do it openly, sometimes through more subtle forms of manipulation.
Even when it starts driving people away, unhealthy Twos are so afraid of being unworthy of love that they keep repeating the only pattern they know: Trying to control other people’s feelings for them. If it feels like a vicious cycle – that’s what it is. Unhealthy Twos need to hear the words of Thomas Merton:
“We cannot love ourselves unless we love others, and we cannot love others unless we love ourselves.”
Healthy Type 2s
Healthy Twos know that they are being loved and appreciated no matter what they do or don’t do for others. They are truly (and amazingly) generous, for one because it’s simply natural for them, but also because they have stopped secretly looking for love in return. A healthy Two has not only become independent, but knows how to encourage independence in others, too. Healthy and mature Twos are like water on the dried-up soil of the world around them: Their love makes all the good things grow.
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What is the Enneagram?
The Enneagram is a pretty amazing tool to help people understand themselves and others better. It does that by describing the nine principle ways of how people view the world and how their particular worldview shapes their personalities. It has already helped millions of people around the world discovering who they are, why they do the things they do and – most importantly – how to use this knowledge to grow as a person.